We, the coalition, Meat Eaters Against Treating Poor Animals Like Meat (hereafter referred to as MEATPALM), are ready to take a stand.
You heard us. We eat meat. But we can’t stomach the idea of you killing an animal yourself. We believe that animals should always be treated like animals–never like meat. The meat on our dinner plate is different.
We have words for you people who choose to butcher your own meat. Words like: “mean,” cruel,” “heartless,” and “beastly.” How could anyone be so cruel as to raise an animal just to eat it?!?
(Amy from A Farmish Kind of Life)
Now, we have nothing against people who get their meat humanely (in a grocery store); eating meat like that is healthy, normal–it’s the people that get their meat from killing animals we can’t stomach.
Chickens who live a happy life in the sun only to end up in the pot are the objects of emotional abuse–there are no two ways about it. How could you earn their trust, their love, only to slaughter them later? No healthy, compassionate person could do a thing like that. No one has the right to take a life like that.
Sure, chicken owners give a good speech. They talk about giving the birds pasture and sunshine, knowing their animals’ health individually, and dispatching them humanely. We all know It’s just a farce to drum up attention. To cover their evil deeds. To hide their bloodlust. Normal people eat chicken nuggets, chicken fingers–not chicken pets.
(Jess from The 104 Homestead)
Home-butchers need to realize that animals no longer have to be treated like meat.
Thanks to amazing scientific and societal advances, no one actually needs to butcher an animal for food anymore. You can buy your poultry, pork, and steaks at Walmart, where no animal was harmed and products were manufactured in a sterile environment. We have incredible machines and computer controlled factories now–nobody has to get blood on their hands for food. That was our grandparents’ problem, not ours.
You home-farmers are sick, backwards cavemen. C’mon. We live in the 21st century, people. Animals can just be our friends now, not our food.
(Abi from They’re Not Our Goats)
We know this may be hard for you backyard butchers to grasp, but you have to realize that your urge to kill animals for meat is something you can control. It is something 21st century humans have overcome. Just focus on the meat in the grocery store. It has no hair. No feathers. No happy cluck. It is clean and ready for consumption, sealed in plastic. That’s meat. Think of meat that way and you’ll never have the urge to kill innocent animals again. It’s simple, really.
We can rest in peace knowing that this chicken wasn’t harmed.
Unlike yours, that you butchered in your backyard. You disgusting person, you.
(Patrick of Survival at Home)
“Ground beef” and “pork chops” are okay to buy, cook, and consume, but cows and pigs should not be treated that way.
(Bonnie of The Not-So-Modern Housewife)
Yes, we, the people of MEATPALM, have come a realization:
If we don’t think about where our meat came from then we can eat it without guilt, shame, or hesitation. We can buy it from a store whenever we want it, we can get it on super sale, and we can toss the scraps without feeling bad. You see, we are modern, refined, cultured individuals. We don’t have to stoop to the level of the butcher, the farmer, or the hunter.
But as for you people who use animals for food?
Shame on you.
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In case you were wondering, this post is satire. It’s not meant to be critical of vegetarians, vegans, or omnivores. I respect your individual dietary choices. It’s not meant to suggest that everyone has to or should butcher their own meat. It is meant, however, to point out the problems with the view that it’s okay to eat an animal but it’s not okay to participate in killing it.
Believe it or not, many of the objections I voice in this post are paraphrases or exact quotes of real-life arguments from people I or my fellow HBN bloggers have faced personally. These ideas are wildly untenable for the meat-eater.
I believe in knowing where my food comes from and in taking part in its production in whatever capacity I am able to. I believe in raising animals compassionately, healthily, and humanely. I believe that meat animals can be a beautiful provision for my family, and I am thankful for them. But most importantly, I value people over differences of opinion. If we disagree, we can still be friends. 🙂
Many thanks to my friends for donating photos, and to my husband for editing/co-authoring this post!
That was awesome. We don’t butcher our own animals (and I honestly don’t think I could personally stomach it), but I appreciate the people who can and do provide for their families that way. I would love to one day have chickens for the eggs though…that I can emotionally handle 🙂
Thanks for your support, Adelina! 🙂
I love it! The hubby and I are both hunters (doesn’t get anymore free-range organic than that!) and we raise meat chickens every year. Sure, butchering day is tough, but its the best tasting chicken I’ve ever had and I love knowing my birds were raised in the sunshine and given the best life possible. Great post!
Wonderful, Amanda! We would love to learn to hunt, too- not for the thrill of it, but for the healthy food for our family. I’ll have to learn from you! 🙂
Wait. Is this for real or a joke?
A little of both, Erin. 🙂 If you read all the way down to the bottom, this is just pointing out the problems with the view that eating meat is okay, but butchering your own meat is cruel. Thanks for stopping by!
Love Love Love. hilarious!
As an ex goat herd, this is Awesome!!!!
This was terrific! I have always felt that people who eat meat but cannot stomach butchering an animal…have been robbed of a crucial part of the human experience. No, it isn’t cruel, and it isn’t abuse. We, humans, are the very first race on Earth to take into consideration the quality of life of our quarry, and attempt to attend to it in a moral fashion. This is an advancement, a boon, and if you see this as mere cruelty… I have to assume you simply aren’t advanced enough to accept the biological truth of what you really are.
Love this, Abi!! I wish I would’ve gotten my photo out before you posted, but we’ve been busy!
We hunt and have even consumed a deer found dead on the side of the road. I find it incredibly sad that some people think butchering a backyard farm animal is worse than stuff in the grocery. We’ve detached ourselves from our food source and disassociated the product from the source. Nothing good has come of it.
Thanks for sharing!
Thanks so much Danielle! I’m so sorry I missed your picture! I hope I didn’t forget you in the mix of things. You can always send it out still and we can add it! 🙂
Now wait just a darn minute!
Everyone knows those neat little packages of chicken and hamburger and such at Wal-Mart are grown on trees. No animal has to die to give us meat! That’s just crazy! I myself plan on planting a hamburger tree this year, I expect to be harvesting my own neat foam packages of fresh hamburger in a few years. If we focused more on everyone planting a meat tree, then no one would have a reason to raise actual animals for meat we can get more easily from trees.
Ha-ha! 😉
I so agree with this blog. People have a right to their opinions. But I too think one should know exactly where our food comes from. I grew up on a farm and actually helped with chicken plucking. He did the actual killing part. I love animals and I love that God gave us dominion over them.
Hahah! Love this!! We live on a cattle ranch and I’ve had this conversation with some of my sisters. My only response is, “Do you eat meat? Well it has to come from somewhere right?”
Thanks for the post!
Thanks for stopping by, Margaret! I’m glad there’s so many other people who get this too. At first I thought I must be doing something wrong to receive so much criticism!
Yes, yes…so many yeses!
Just lots of love. This is awesome.
Good one!!
I am glad this is merely satire. I started reading and thought, “Are you NUTS!”
The horror of transport where if a cow or a pig falls on the ride to the stockyards and is trampled in a slow death or injured to linger in pens…
The hanging of chickens on hooks whether they are quite dead or not to be run on a conveyor line…
Animals kept on factory farms…
I was glad to see the title of your site, though.
My cow and bull used to go on walkabout and I swore if anyone came upon them out of their yard before I could find and bring them back I would say that I never saw them before and don’t know whose they were.
; )
I think your anger is directed in the wrong place. Backyard and homestead animals are treated very humanely. Have you ever checked out how commercial chicken farms and commercial beef slaughterhouses are? Very crowded and inhumane. Before I “dispatch” my rabbits, I’m loving on them. That is the way of life and death. Do your homework and find out how animals are treated in different situations.
Apparently some of these Meatpalm people have no idea what a cattle stockyard is, or a chicken farm and processing plant. They have no idea how much more humanely things can be done if the individual was to get involved and be truly humane in their own consumption.